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Today I will show you (with real examples) how to get a date with a girl you met outside, in public, in the real world.
Aspiring pickup artists, this article is for you.
By The Way: If you're not comfortable yet getting a girl's number in public, I recommend you watch my educational Cold Approach Infield series on YouTube. |
So let's drop our dating apps for a moment, and let's dive deep into how to get a date with a girl you met in public.
And see what will make her crazy to meet you again.
Here's a summary of what you will get today:
Is trying to get a date with a girl you met in public even worth it?
How to get a date with a girl you met in public over texts (with examples)
And don't worry, each part comes with its fair share of real-life references...
Let's go!
Does Cold Approach Work in 2022?
If you read my book Modern World Dating you know that dating apps are way more convenient than meeting women outside.
So you might wonder whether or not it works and how to get a date with a girl you met in public.
But I still personally prefer Cold Approach (aka meeting women in public) for a very simple reason:
It puts you in front of all the other men trying to compete for her attention.
Let's say you wonder how to get a date with a girl you met.
And you meet a woman who's very beautiful, even a solid 8.
A girl like her for example:
At all times, she has:
At least 5 dudes in her DMs trying to get her out.
One or two dates planned this week.
And a few dozen matches waiting on Tinder.
At. All. Times.
What do you think works best in getting her attention:
Being the 6th guy trying to get her on a date from Instagram?
Being the only man who gave her a good time in real life this week so far?
See, I'm sure you know that women are emotional creatures.
And meeting women in real life is the best way to get them to feel emotions.
If you wonder how to get a date with a girl you met, you must know this:
Texting is very cold and impersonal.
And here's a great way to stand out: make her feel good emotions, and attract her in real life.
Is it OK to Approach a Girl in Public?
Yes, and when done right it works super well.
Just make sure to pay attention to social cues.
It's normal to feel uneasy if you don't know how to get a date with a girl you met.
But you can avoid awkward moments if you do one thing:
Figure out whether she enjoys talking with you or tries to end the interaction.
But this is not easy if you're not a sociable person, it's an acquired skill.
In fact, it seems that a lot of people believe online dating is the best way to meet women.
Have a look at this recent Facebook conversation I participated in:
My man Henry is a strong believer that meeting women in public is a terrible and impractical thing.
And that all you need to get women is to get ripped, rich, and show it on IG.
I agree that bettering your life is a great thing.
But from years of being a part of the pickup community, and from personal experience, I can say one thing:
I have never seen a man who's good at meeting women in public who also hates meeting women in public.
And the reverse is also true:
Every time I meet a guy preaching against cold approaching women, it's someone who can't cold approach women.
And I believe that to fairly criticize a practice and give your opinion any weight, you have to be able to do it in the first place.
Or else you're only talking about something you don't know.
But enough ranting for today, let's look at some actual scientific data.
And let me teach you how to get a date with a girl you met.
How Many People Meet Through Dating Apps
Some may say that now all dating is Instagram and dating apps.
Just take a look at this recent study by Stanford University on how couples meet:
So on one hand, it's clear that you want your online game to be top-notch.
If you're looking to get countless dates from the apps, I recommend you check out my free Countless Dates training here.
But on the other hand, almost one-third of couples met in public, and the last third met in their social circles.
My personal opinion is that right now dating is fairly balanced as to how you can meet women.
So back to the very point of this article: let me show you how to get a date with a girl you met in public.
Make Her Crazy When You Meet Her
If you know how to get a date with a girl you met, you know a great thing:
The best ways to stand out like crazy in a short amount of time.
You can give her the impression that you're the most amazing guy she ever met.
All in the span of the 5 minutes you're going to spend with her after approaching her on the street or in a cafe.
But this can only be done once you master the basics of being a sociable person.
Master Small Talk First
Let's assume that you're at least an average guy.
That is to say, you're not repelling people on sight.
And you can be in a conversation with a stranger without freaking out.
(If you're not there yet, I have a ton of techniques and exercises to get rid of social anxiety, book a free consultation with me here.)
There is a very first thing you must learn if you want to know how to get a date with a girl you met.
And that thing is "water-cooler talk", or small talk.
Really picture the kind of conversation you'd have with a new coworker during a break at work.
While the coffee machine is pouring your cappuccino.
"Where are you from?"
"What do you do for a living?"
"What are you doing right now?"
"Are you a student?"
"How do you feel about it?"
Basic questions that will be superficial for sure.
It might seem boring, and you might be surprised if you want to know how to get a date with a girl you met.
Surprised that you actually must have a somewhat boring conversation.
But that will allow the person in front of you to open up, if they want to.
The reason why is so important that I am going to write it down in all caps and bold characters:
MOST COLD APPROACH INFIELDS YOU CAN WATCH ON YOUTUBE ARE NOT REALITY.
A SUCCESSFUL INTERACTION WHERE A MAN SEDUCES A WOMAN LOOKS BORING.
IF A SEDUCTION "TRICK" LOOKS WEIRD, IT'S BECAUSE IT IS.
In practice, only 5 to 15% of your interaction will be "seduction techniques".
The bulk of it must be a regular conversation.
Just like you'd have with your male friends.
The biggest part of your conversation will be friendly.
And only a tiny bit will be sexual, playful and so on.
Now that we're on the same wavelength, let's see what actually gets a woman to chase a man who'd approach her in public.
Increase Your Perceived Value
The main thing that will get a woman to get crazy for a man is how much value she perceives he has.
If you want to know how to get a date with a girl you met, you must put yourself in her shoes:
A random guy comes up to her, he presents himself well.
He says hi, throws a compliment and maybe a joke, and starts a conversation smoothly.
Apparently, his life is super cool, and he talks about it in a very confident way.
He keeps the conversation going, and it feels good.
Finally, he asks if she wants to meet up again because he has to go.
If that woman is actually open to meeting a man, why would she say no?
Earlier I said "perceive" specifically.
Because in the short amount of time you will spend with her, you will not tell her all about you.
You just can't.
So since you've got a limited time with her, you must focus on what will play in your favor.
To know how to get a date with a girl you met you must know how to put your best foot forward.
If 100% of all that she sees of you so far feels good, there's no reason she won't want to see more of it.
And then she chases you.
And then she wants to know more about you.
Remember: Those ways to increase your perceived value will only be 5 to 15% of your conversation. |
You must market yourself properly, within the 5 to 10 minutes you will spend with her.
So let's see about the different ways you have to get a woman to chase you.
1 - Share About your Awesome Life
Women like interesting men.
So let her know what makes you an interesting man, what makes your life awesome.
In practice, when you ask her what she does for a living for example, if she is open to meet someone, she will return the question back to you.
Don't tell her "Oh yeah my job is boring I don't wanna talk about it."
Instead, talk about why your life is so awesome.
Obviously, make sure your life is interesting in the first place.
If you want to know how to get a date with a girl you met and increase your chances, it's something you should always work on.
But also, make sure to reply with passion.
Emotions are contagious, whatever you feel she's going to feel.
It's called the Law of State Transference, and it's a real psychological phenomenon.
If you feel you're awesome, she will tend to feel you're awesome too.
Overall, steer the conversation toward what makes you an attractive man.
Someone she'd enjoy dating.
And stay away from mentioning what does the opposite.
Put your best foot forward first.
2 - Show a High-Value Behavior
This point is such a huge topic that it deserves an article for itself.
When you know how to get a date with a girl you met, you know it's all about your behavior:
Are you trying to impress her and get her to like you, are you trying hard to make it work?
Or are you screening her to see if she's what you're looking for, ready to leave anytime if there's no chemistry?
Obviously, the latter is more attractive.
It means you are not needy, it means you have options.
It means you're not living in scarcity because that kills your dating life.
But it's not just in the act of walking away, it's about your whole behavior.
It's about being willing to risk a rejection every single time you say something to her.
This Makes a High-Value Behavior
You must be able to:
Not let her control the conversation.
Be visibly comfortable approaching strangers.
Not filter your speech, even if you risk offending/losing her.
Control silences in the conversation to push her to talk more.
Show her you dislike things about her, inquire about what makes her a potential date.
Make sure the conversation is balanced, a good 50/50.
Deal with her reactions properly if she doesn't seem interested.
And for most men it's very hard to do.
Because all those "attractive behaviors" will lead you straight to a rejection with most women you meet.
So you also must come to terms with the fact that cold approach means getting rejected in the overwhelming majority of the cases.
Yes, it's paradoxical.
But extremely necessary if you want to know how to get a date with a girl you met.
The less you care about losing her, the more attractive you will appear.
Here's the Key to It All
Once you stop being afraid of rejections and let your true self come out, you become a beast.
It's a mindset that always feels weird at first.
Because it's when you will be your most attractive self that you will get rejected the harshest and the fastest.
Women aren't harsh with nice guys, but they don't fuck them either.
Sure, she will give you her number if you ask nicely.
But she will never reply or accept to go on a date.
On the other hand, women aren't afraid to be harsh with a high-value guy, because they know such a guy can take it.
If you want to behave like a high-value man, you must be able to take the L without making a big deal out of it.
3 - Seek Rejections
You must take rejections as a normal part of life.
If you want to understand how to get a date with a girl you met, but also as a general life advice.
Once you do, you will realize the full potential of cold approach.
Because by that point, when you meet a girl who doesn't reject you, she will be hooked HARD.
Harder than the highest-value man on Tinder or Instagram could hook her.
Hard enough to get her to remind you to invite her out on a date (see my example below).
In the end, when you seek rejections, what you're really doing is that you're actually going for what you want in an honest way.
The less you try to avoid rejections, the less manipulative you are.
And the more you can take rejections, the more genuine and strong you are.
And that's how to get a date with a girl you met.
Because guess what: women want a strong, genuine man who can take a rejection head on.
Plus, I don't even like the term "rejection".
If you say hi to a woman who doesn't speak the language, is that a rejection?
If she's a lesbian, is that a rejection?
If her personality doesn't fit yours, is that a rejection?
If she's late for work and can't talk, is that a rejection?
If she's already married or happy with her current boyfriend, is that a rejection?
If she hates men, is that a rejection?
If she's in a bad mood today and doesn't want to talk to anyone, is that a rejection?
If it turns out you don't really like her after you say hi, is that a rejection?
You must get away from this mindset of "Rejection VS Success" when approaching women.
If you don't get with her, it's never personal.
Don't let your ego get in the way.
In most cases, if it doesn't work out it's because:
A logistical problem
Your personalities don't match
You failed at communicating properly
So, worst-case scenario, work on your social skills and learn how to cold approach effectively.
Because rejection is never personal.
Go For the Date
So you're here to know how to get a date with a girl you met.
It means that when you meet her:
You must make sure to do what it takes to get a date out of it.
Or at least, that you try your best shot at it.
Make sure that your conversation stays friendly, but that you're still leading to a date.
After a few minutes of talking with her, make a clear move.
When one of you has to go, ask her out on the spot.
It can be as simple as:
"Do you want to talk more next time? We should get a coffee together".
And that's how to get a date with a girl you met.
It's EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that if you ask for her contact, she knows that you're doing it to set up a date.
And by extremely important, I mean MANDATORY.
You must not leave before asking her out on a date and getting a yes or a no.
Once again, you see the importance of being fine with rejections.
Because here you must make a clear move.
You must be assertive.
You must be clear, precise and to the point.
And she clearly can say that no, she doesn't want to see you again.
But that's a risk you must take.
And again, if she likes you, she will love that you're ballsy that way.
Because no other guy is that straightforward and confident.
So do not hesitate.
Go for it.
And be an...
Insane Flirt 😎
The Easiest Way To Restart A Conversation Over Text
So far, she's attracted to you, you've got her number, and you set up a hypothetical future date.
And you want to know how to get a date with a girl you met over texts.
Maybe you managed to get her Instagram...
Or if you still live in 2012, you've got her phone number.
But here's one problem:
You have no idea what to do after getting a girl's number.
What should you say to make her like you?
What to do to look cool instead of creepy?
How to ask her out without being needy?
And most importantly, you don't want to screw it up because she's hot.
The First Text You Send Is A Deal-Breaker
Obviously, you're going to text her something.
Should You Text Girls First?
Yes, yes, and yes.
That's super important if you want to know how to get a date with a girl you met.
Always be the one making moves, don't put the future of your dating life in anyone's hands but yours.
On top of that, most women hate to text first for a wide variety of reasons:
They want a man who's able to handle the pressure of leading the relationship.
She wants to preserve her ego, her reputation and avoid rejection.
If you don't text first, most women will take it as a sign that you're not interested anyways.
Don't play mind games, just shoot your best shot.
How to Restart a Conversation After a Cold Approach?
So this one isn't too difficult.
Here's an example below.
You have 2 ways to do it.
Either callback humor, or a reference to where you met.
Just make sure to keep it light and fun.
How Long Should You Wait Before You Text A Girl?
You should text a girl again as soon as you're available.
In practice, when you meet a girl and take her contact it's because one of you has to go do something else.
So go on about your life, but whenever you've got some free time, just send her a text and try to ask her out.
There has been this stupid idea going on for years that you have to wait 3 days to text a girl.
Waiting 3 days before texting a girl again is beyond stupid.
Here's what will happen if you wait:
Another guy might ask her out before you.
Maybe she will meet someone at the club tonight.
She might think you were not that interested.
We live in 2022 and dating is fast-paced.
I talk about this extensively in my book Modern World Dating: you just can't afford to wait.
How to Get a Date After a Cold Approach?
So far you've restarted the conversation and maybe even bantered a little.
This should be easy as well since you already got her to agree on a date when you met her.
Just go for it.
What If She Gives me Objections?
Ah...
Logistics.
Probably the biggest problem when it comes to dating once you get a little bit good with your social skills.
Sometimes, way too often in fact, it's the right person but the wrong time.
So then, what can you do?
How to get a date with a girl you met if she just can't come out to see you?
You must be a problem solver.
You must solve those logistical problems.
In this example, she was going on a 2-weeks holiday trip, so I couldn't really meet her anytime soon.
It's a little bit of an awkward situation because if you can't meet your girl quickly, she will forget about you.
No matter how good she felt when she met you, no matter how much she liked you.
So how to get a date with a girl you met in such a situation?
The best you can do is to ping her with value every once in a while until you can actually meet her.
Here I sent her a joke or a funny GIF every 5 days or so.
There's no point trying hard and keeping the conversation alive until she comes back.
I just pinged value from time to time, so she doesn't forget about me.
And eventually, she came back, so I asked her out again.
Obviously, by this time life went on, and she was a bit less invested in me.
So I had to break rapport gently to give her a little push.
She agreed, and then it was just about setting up the date.
Go for It and Don't Look Back
All in all, getting a date is hardly ever smooth.
If you want to know how to get a date with a girl you met, it's a reality you must deal with.
You must take social risks, but even if you may be rejected, it's an awesome way to meet women.
With a bit of problem-solving, confidence, and empathy, you can make it happen.
And when you know how to get a date with a girl you met you feel like a BEAST.
When you know that you are able to see a woman on the street and be able to end up with her in bed.
Or to even start a relationship.
Just by walking up to her and talking!
It's an awesome feeling and a real confidence booster.
And One More Thing!
I understand cold approach is a difficult thing, and not for everyone.
What if I told you that you can actually meet a ton of attractive women off dating apps?
Provided you follow a very specific method...
I came up with a FREE training to show you exactly what is this method.
Click on the link below and check it out!
