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In this article, I want to explain why teasing women is so effective.
Why it gets them excited
Why it gets them to chase you
Just like as kids we had some boys run around messing with girls' hair and stuff.
Those girls were complaining and moaning, but still really craved playing with those boys.
Things don't change that much with age, things just get more subtle.
Teasing Women Makes You Attractive
The problem with subtle things is that they are easy to misunderstand.
Many people believe being a bit cocky, a bit of an asshole, is insensitive.
We tend more and more towards a society where not catering to people's egos is seen as being mean.
And yet, when you look outside, you see all those beautiful women dating what you would describe as "real jerks".
And here's the kicker: the most beautiful women don't date "nice" guys.
If you're not into hot girls that's fine, my content isn't for you.
But if you're here to understand how to date the most beautiful women I think it's important to understand what it really means to be nice.
Because I have the very polarizing opinion that being a bit of a 'jerk' actually means being genuinely nice.
And women crave genuine men.
Does Being Nice Make You Attractive?
If you search for this online, most of the answers coming back will tell you that yes, being nice makes you attractive.
In this article, I will show you that being nice does not make you attractive, why it's a flawed argument, and what actually works best.
If you look at most studies, participants are always asked what they believe is attractive.
But it's my opinion that people aren't the best judges of what they actually like and want.
People smoke, do drugs, and take a bunch of other life-ending decisions daily.
People want to get married to have a stable life, then get bored and divorce.
A woman will tell you that she wants a 'good' man, but her last 5 exes were 'jerks'.
So for sure, you don't want to go around lying and making women feel uncomfortable.
But the truth is way more nuanced than the usual black or white "you're either a jerk or a nice guy".
Understand What It Means To Be Nice
We have to be specific about it, being nice is a very vague term.
There are mainly 2 huge differences when it comes to being nice, and it's all about the place where it comes from:
You can be nice to please and be accepted.
You can be nice because you believe it's the right thing to do.
One comes from the outside, one comes from the inside.
And if you've been watching my content for a while, you know that true, attractive confidence comes from the inside.
If you're nice because you feel you have to in order to get what you want, it's not really being nice.
It's coming from a place of taking.
It's helping others with the hidden goal to get what you want.
It's actually selfish.
if you're nice because you believe it's the right thing to do, then you are genuinely doing good.
It's coming from a place of giving.
It's helping others even if there's no promise of any return.
It's doing what you believe to be a favor, even if it's not recognized as such.
Women Want Genuine Men, Not Nice Guys
Women will look for the place where your niceness is coming from.
And it's way more attractive if they see it comes from your will to share value instead of your need to please.
Teasing women is not always 'nice', but it's genuine and comes from a place of sharing fun.
As such, it's genuine.
It's not the same as trying to put women down to make you feel better, as what seems to be the trend in the manosphere right now.
It's about being brave enough to risk rejection for the sake of sharing things you believe are interesting with women you like.
Which is another reason why you must always work on yourself to become more confident.
Pro Tip: Some women are caught up in their own egos and insecurities. Some will assume that anything that isn't immediately feeling nice to them is a personal attack. Do not be phased by it, and do not let that prevent you from being genuine. |
Here's an example from a girl to who I just sent a cold DM on Instagram:
She posted a story saying she gained 3kg, while still looking super sexy.
What do 'nice' men reply to this?
"nooo you're still beautiful 😍"
...Ugh, gross, boring.
What does a 'genuinely nice' man do?
He tries to genuinely share fun through his personality, instead of catering to what is expected and safe.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but it's always genuine.
It's the difference between:
"I say things that I think will please you so you will like me." and
"I say things that I think have value, even if that means you may tell me to fuck off."
Being 'fake nice' never works.
As soon as women notice that you're faking it, you're done and they are gone.
And guess what...
There's another huge benefit to being able to tease women:
It keeps them on their toes.
Teasing Keeps Women Excited And Engaged
If you're just "nice" something will be missing.
Girls will feel it's too easy.
Girls will feel unengaged.
Simply put: being nice is not enough to keep people interested in you.
Especially women: they will get bored when they talk to you and look for other sources of emotional stimulation.
How Does A Man Keep A Woman Interested?
if you want to keep a woman interested, you must spike her emotions.
And the easiest way to do it, even if you're introverted and quiet, is teasing.
In one sentence, to tease a girl you want to do just this : make fun of one of her innocent flaws.
"What? I thought I had this guy, why is he teasing me? Ok, that might be interesting."
HOW TO TEASE WOMEN
Let's break this sentence down. Make fun of one of her innocent flaws.
What do I mean by making fun?
“Making fun of” means finding the humor in something.
Humor follows a pattern. It can also be mathematical in its structure and rhythm. Deconstruct why you like certain sketches, jokes, videos and spoofs and you begin to understand what you can do to create humor of your own.
There are many types of humor (dark, surreal, situational, etc.) and there is definitely one or a few kinds of humor that you will be naturally attracted to, humor is subjective. Mine is definitely more on the what-the-fuck and unexpected side of humor.
If you’re having trouble finding things “fun” and humorous I really advise that you start watching stand up comedy, watch a few shows daily and see which kind of humor you resonate with.
It also goes by lowering the bar for how good something has to be for you to find it fun. Many people do not allow themselves to let go and embrace humor because of ego. Your ego can hold you back and push you to think that you’re above the masses and that only the finest jokes can reach you. By simply allowing yourself to find a good time in things that are only slightly funny you will be able to become naturally funnier.
Without going on too much of an off-topic rant, ego has got to be the number 1 enemy of those trying to learn social success. Ego has you avoid risks. And laughing easily puts you at a risk of being judged for laughing at what can be considered “dumb and easy” humor. Let go of that. Laugh more often, it’s scientifically proven to make you live longer (and gets you laid more often).
In practice, humor generally happens when something is unexpected and/or exaggerated. Take one of her innocent flaws and exaggerate it or link it to something unexpected.
What do I mean by innocent flaw ?
An innocent flaw is basically going to be anything that she does or have that won’t have her feelings hurt if you make fun of it. Innocent flaws are not real flaws, but the point of a tease is to pretend that those things that aren’t flaws are actual flaws, and then you make fun of it.
The easiest way to do so is to take something that you noticed about her, and exaggerate it to the extreme, and say that you find it funny.
I used to have a girlfriend who, every time she laughed, would close her eyes. Because she was a white Caucasian girl, I used to tease her on the fact that she would become chinese every time she laughed.
(No hate for Chinese women, they are among the most beautiful women in the world to me.)
Usually you should never explain a joke because only awkward situations ensue, but for the sake of the example, let’s dissect this one.
“Every time you laugh, you become Chinese” It’s unexpected, it’s exaggerated, it’s an innocent flaw because she just did something that stood out to me.
Another example, I once met a girl at a bar and when she was talking to me, her eyes kept switching from watching my left, then my right eye, back and forth. I told her to stop doing that, that it was too obvious that she liked me because she couldn’t concentrate on watching me in a single eye when she was talking to me.
Again, exaggerated (her liking me and being extremely anxious about it) an innocent flaw (her switching eye contact between my left and right eye).
It’s interesting there because I also used this tease to set up the frame of her liking me, which is even more advanced and maybe the topic of another article. That’s how useful a tease can be.
WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT TO TEASE GIRLS
Teasing girls create tension, and any tension between a man and a woman is almost always sexual. You need this tension to be there so she isn’t sure whether she’s got you or not.
It also makes the conversation way less boring. For the girl, but also for you. If the whole conversation is flat and friendly, chances are that your relationship with her will develop in that direction. And you don’t want that.
Every time you notice she gets bored you want to spike her emotions with a good or a bad emotion, as long as it kills the flat-ness that was there before.
If you’re able to stay around her, interact with her and talk with her for a long period of time without clearly saying that you are completely down to date her, she will think that she doesn’t have you wrapped around her finger just yet and this will drive her crazy.
She will wonder what you’re really thinking. She will wonder whether you actually like her because you’re giving her attention, joking around with her and generally spending time with her. She will wonder whether you actually dislike her and do this just for the sake of your own amusement because you’re teasing her, and genuinely having fun in her presence sometimes at the risk of offending her, not having fun to make her like you and be a nice friend who she can talk to about anything.
You’re polarizing when you tease girls and that’s really a trait that is extremely attractive. You’re not afraid to say what you think and while a tease should not be insulting, it clearly is going in the opposite direction of a compliment. Think of it as a “boys ball-busting” but without sexual nor cute intent.
Because in the end you can’t get girls to feel attraction towards you if you only make them comfortable around you. You can’t get girls to feel attracted if you only pull them towards you. Sometimes you need to push them away a little bit.
The main takeaway from this article is that teasing girls does two things : it spikes their emotions when the conversation gets stale and it creates tension between you and them if the conversation is too flat (or friendly). If you find yourself in either one of those situations, you know what to do now.
Liked this article? I really enjoy going in-depth and this is just the tip of the iceberg. Most of my advanced content doesn’t get posted on the blog.
If you wish to discuss more of the advanced content to pick out and eliminate your situation-specific sticking points you can book a consultation call for free with me HERE.