I'm a big fan of life-changing epiphanies.
Those "EUREKA!" moments about life and other huge existential questions.
And you should be too.
That's where real growth happens.
The best way I've ever found to get those life-changing thoughts was through reading books, and a lot of them.
So here it is, my 29 top dating books to change your life.
Consider those dating books the most relevant ones if you're a man looking to optimize everything related to his dating life.
Disclaimer: not all those books are about dating specifically.
But all those will help your dating life in one way or another.
Because all those books have something to teach you that will directly or indirectly:
Make your interactions with women easier.
Make you appear more attractive.
Change how you see life in a way that gets you more women.
I've separated all those books into different categories:
You can click on the category you're most interested in to directly start there.
I personally read all the books mentioned in this article, and this is my hands-on experience, as well as my biggest takeaways.
Don't hesitate to go pick up those books for yourself if you find them interesting.
Entrepreneurship & Financial Freedom
Did you know that the world's top CEOs read on average 60 books a year?
Yup, that's 5 books a month.
How can they manage to read that much in a month then?
They learned to optimize their time and efforts.
And this is what most business and financial freedom books will teach you.
And you can very well apply that to your interactions with women, for example:
To meet more women with less effort.
To focus on what works and discard what does not.
To qualify the women you meet and focus on those who really want you.
Let's get to it.
The 10X Rule - Grant Cardone
Let's start off strong with a very powerful book from what you could call an insane man.
The 10X Rule is one of my favorite books of the year and I can't believe I didn't read it earlier.
Why does it earn itself a place as a top dating book?
Because the 10X applies to everything baby.
It works for sales, business, marketing, friends, relationships, network opportunities, applying for a job...
And of course, dating.
You've heard it before, dating is a numbers game.
And if you start applying the principles from The 10X Rule you will see your life going from mediocre dating results to better results than 95% of the male population in weeks.
Where most men approach 1 to 3 women on a night out, get rejected, and call it a day, you will do differently.
This book will motivate you first, and then tell you how to do 10 times more than anyone else, to become a top performer in any area.
Seriously, go read that book.
Relentless - Tim S. Grover
A lot of being an entrepreneur is about being Relentless.
Hence the title of the book, and why it earned itself a place among my top dating books.
Because, look, it's not all about pickup lines and techniques (far from it).
Those help, but they are just the icing on top of the cake.
Having a proper mindset, awakening your killer instinct is what will drive you to good results.
This is the solid foundation that you need.
And once you've got good results, being truly Relentless is what will get you to greatness.
No limiting beliefs and emotions.
All about doing all that you possibly can to get what you desire.
Through the stories shared by the personal coach of world-class NBA athletes, the author tells what it is that makes the world's top performers different from the masses.
And you know you could use a little bit more of being Relentless when meeting women.
The 4-hour Workweek - Timothy Ferris
Eye-opening book on how little it’s possible to work while still making big money.
It's all about midset shifts:
How you can make more money, with less effort, and achieve financial freedom.
Though this book won’t make you rich, it will help you work less if you already have some money.
Think and Grow Rich - Napoleon Hill
A very dense book telling the success stories of cunning minds.
It draws out principles that need to be there for anyone willing to become rich.
It's a lot of habits and mindset shifts that you may or may not know.
But once put together, those will help you go in the direction of money.
The Lean Startup - Eric Ries
This book describes quite well how to build a company from scratch.
At least in terms of mindsets and objectives.
This book won’t tell you how to create money out of thin air.
But it will tell you how to minimize time wasted and money lost while figuring out how you can monetize your dreams.
A must-read for complete beginners when it comes to startups and entrepreneurship.
Rich Dad, Poor Dad - Robert Kiyosaki
Amazing book, a must-read for anyone coming from a lower/middle-class background just like myself.
Learn the best mindsets when it comes to money, how it gets created, and what can create a lot of it with the least effort.
If you always thought that working harder was the way to being financially successful, well this book will make you think again.
There is a before and an after reading this book.
This book will erase most of the limiting mindsets that prevent you from actually getting rich.
It's funny because a lot of those money-making principles also apply to dating, hence why a place in my top dating books.
How to Master the Art of Selling - Tom Hopkins
Very interesting read on how to become a better salesman, or in other words, how to convince people that you are what they need.
Sales and seduction are closely linked: getting better at one always made me better at the other.
In this book, you will find sales techniques, objection overcoming techniques, ways to show people that your ideas are exactly what they need, and general mindsets that will make you love (good) salespeople.
Recommended if your life is about selling anything and if you're having trouble sharing value with people in general.
Money: Master the Game - Tony Robbins
I mostly read this one to say I read some of Tony Robbins’ work.
It’s great, but Rich Dad, Poor Dad is a more approachable version of that topic in my opinion.
It covers the same topics and tells the story of a few people who made it and made it really, really big.
If that’s your goal you might find it worth it.
The 80/20 Principle - Richard Koch
Some call it Pareto's Law, it's the idea that 80% of the outcomes originate from 20% of the causes.
It's not always 80/20 in practice, but remember that it's always:
A relatively small amount of your efforts will yield most of your results.
Roughly 80% of sales come from roughly 20% of clients.
Roughly 80% of profits come from roughly 20 % of products or services.
Roughly 80% of meeting decisions are made in roughly 20% of the time.
And this doesn't only apply to business:
Most crimes are committed by a small fraction of criminals.
Most of the work is done by a small fraction of employees.
Most of the world's pollution comes from a small fraction of the factories.
Most of the world's wealth is in the hands of a small fraction of the population.
Most of the good grades are obtained by a small group of students.
In terms of being a top dating book, this will help you understand that:
20% of your online dating matches will get you 80% of your Tinder dates.
20% of the phone numbers you get will transform into 80% of your dates.
20% of the efforts you do to improve your dating life will get you 80% of your results.
20% of your successful dates will make up 80% of your relationships.
20% of all men get with 80% of all women.
Biggest takeaway: you can't win 100% of the time, double down on the winning 20%.
The prosperous Coach - S. Chandler and R. Litvin
So yes I picked up that book because I'm a coach and it's probably not relevant to most of you guys.
That said, I figured it gave good insights on getting inside the mind of the people you’re serving and digging deep to bring out life-changing results for them.
I really like how it focuses on pinning down exactly what it is that holds a person down.
This is relevant when for example you need to convince someone or overcome objections.
Recommended if you’re a coach, a teacher, or helping people get more out of life in any way.
Let's not dive too deep into the woo-woo stuff.
But still, I really encourage you to at least keep an open mind about spirituality and meditation.
I'm a strong believer that most of the pain in this world comes from people who refuse to look inward, and who refuse to live in the present moment.
People are literally driven by their fears and biological needs.
Spirituality aims to control that, and being able to distance yourself from your daily stress and worries really help in thinking outside the box.
And when meeting women it means:
Being more confident and less insecure.
Being able to improvise and go with the flow.
Being a more enjoyable person to hang out with.
The power of Now - Eckhart Tolle.
I'm not that much of a spiritual guy but I really recommend that you grab at least this book if you must pick only one about meditation and spirituality.
If you are:
Sad and stressed.
Burdened by a conflicted past and dreading a grim future.
Lost and confused, constantly worried.
This book will completely change your life and the way you deal with difficulties.
Imagine sitting in front of a green tree whose branches are slowly moving to the wind.
You're complete, happy.
Nothing else matters in this very moment, and you're just present.
This book will help you appreciate that present moment (provided you're willing).
It's a guide for day-to-day living and the importance of living in the present moment while transcending thoughts of the past or future.
Simply put: your life will be better if you read this book.
A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle
Following and expanding the ideas of the Power of Now and how the human nature and ego prevent people from being truly enlightened.
Again, this ranks in my top dating books because of all the positive (although indirect) effects this will have on you when dating and meeting women.
More enjoyable interactions and relationships.
Better ability to share a great time with the people around you.
If you liked The Power of Now, this book will help you further appreciate the present moment on a more practical level, and keep your mind away from your past or future worries.
I recommend the audiobook version, directly narrated by the author himself - his voice alone is guided meditation material.
Mastering your Emotions & Staying Motivated
In case you didn't know yet, emotions are overrated.
Most of what is holding you down on your dating journey can be assimilated into 2 things:
You're either scared to screw up or be hurt.
Or you don't know what to do and you're afraid to be annoying.
By mastering your emotions you will be able to erase those 2 problems.
Because let's be real, we're humans, and sometimes we feel scared, hurt, emotional, etc.
But the good thing is that you can control that (in my opinion, this is what it is to "be an adult").
Now, nobody teaches that anymore, and with the way the world is going, emotions and feelings are becoming sacred things that need to be pampered instead of controlled.
Let me tell you right now:
If you try to get great dating results, you are going to go through tough and emotional moments.
But those will get you to grow, improve, adapt and overcome.
Because by reading the books below you will be able to control your emotions, instead of letting them control you.
Ego is the Enemy - Ryan Holiday
If you are not getting great results with women (or anything else) but you feel that you should be getting results, it's most likely an ego issue.
If you feel that you are doing all that's in your power, have read all the material in the world, but yet don't get the results, you want to read this book.
Having an ego used to be a huge issue for me, and I know it is for most of the guys I coach as well.
Especially good-looking guys, who should have dating easy, but actually don't.
Not a dating book per se, but it will open your eyes to how bad and harmful having an ego is.
So that you can transform that little negative voice inside into actual, rock-solid confidence.
The Obstacle is the Way - Ryan Holiday
Finding life too difficult?
Need a kick in the butt?