So I made a video on the main three ways to meet women once you're out of the school system a while ago, here I'd like to talk more specifically about the places where you'll meet them and what you can expect from those places more specifically.
Today we get the answer to the famous "where to meet girls??" question. Especially if you don't have a social circle already throwing parties, if you are new into a new city for example.
We will also see what you can expect to happen in those places and how to actually get to meet girls from there. I'll make it a compilation of the best places in my opinion, I've been to those places and all the advice given below has been field tested by me and others before.
I won't be talking about the workplace, while still possible, it's generally risky to try to flirt there. I won't include places of transit like train stations and airports either because chances that you will be able see that girl again are extremely slim, as well as online dating because you don't need to go out to use Tinder :)
What are the best places? I will give you a complete rundown of where to meet girls with my opinion and advice regarding meeting women there for each and every listed place.
The mainstream nightclub
Usually in those places there is a bar area, a smoking area, a tables area and a dancefloor.
High energy? Go and be physical with girls on the dance floor. Low energy? Approach girls in the hallways and smoking area. Huge social circle? Work on the tables. Your friend is the DJ? You're in the VIP booth with the hottest people. All that you need for a balanced night out.
Working in such a club as a promoter was one of the most interesting experiences of my life. And also extremely unhealthy. Still I figured why this kind of place is amazing for YOU in your journey to filling your life with women.
This is by far my favorite place to meet women. Why ? There is no other place where you can see hotter girls. It's there that you can expect to meet the hottest girls in the world, especially if you live in the capital city of a first world country.
Clubs have the best density of hot girls per square meter. Girls who spent hours making up and preparing their sluttiest dress to be showered by male attention in the most chaotic environment ever, including alcohol, music, a mess of social dynamics and a great party vibe altogether.
This is also where cool guys go, successful men who want to show off and buy tables go there, VIP sections are always full of local celebrities. If you don't go to clubs, go to clubs.
Your Instagram crush with 500k followers? She goes there and you can actually try your shot with her.
You favorite porn star? She goes there and you can actually try your shot with her.
Doctors, models, flight attendants, scientists, actresses, they go there and you can actually try your shot with them.
If you want to meet the hottest girls in the world, go to clubs.
This is where I learned most of my skillset with women, this is THE best place to learn social dynamics. This is the best place to learn fast given the large amount of beautiful women and cool guys to network with there.
If you don't like clubs, go to clubs and learn to like them. I'm not making any friends when I say this but I don't care. It works. I don't care if you're an introvert who doesn't like loud music. You're a man who likes sexy women. I used to hate clubs and I learned to love them. Now I can get laid every time I go out. Go to clubs.
The dance club
Those places are extremely popular in Asian countries, less so in western countries.
But, I mean, you understand why I think this place is worth it, right?
Pretty much like the mainstream nightclub except that they play "big room house" loud music, everyone is jumping to the trendiest DJ of the time and it's closer to a music festival than a place to be seen and network. I found meeting girls there hard because this place is often a shit show of lights, colors, huge screens, balloons, bubbles, fire, male and female dancers (strippers), extremely loud music, etc. Everything there is made to make sure your brain is constantly assaulted by various stimuli and you won't be able to compete with it to get a girl's attention long enough for her to see how cool you are. Even worse than in a regular nightclub.
Other than that, those places are amazing to party, warm up early or finish up an unlucky night (you can for sure meet down to fuck girls there between 4 and 6am).
The music festival/concert
Pretty much like the above, except that it takes place outside and often over a few days with the possibility to find lodging on site. This is great to party with the same people and see again girls that you couldn't conclude with on the first night, because it's going to be extremely chaotic as well. Expect girls to care way more about the party than the possibility to meet guys, especially if a word class DJ is playing, considering some people wait months every year for a particular festival.
Good luck being more interesting than that.
On the plus side, action can happen during the day and drugs flow freely there. I've heard stories of long time hard case virgins who couldn't approach a girl in their everyday life getting laid multiple times during the burning man festival. The vibe is carefree and some girls go there with the objective to do things they cannot do outside of a festival.
As such, the difficulty will be to get girls attention but if you find that one girl who is open to sex it will be extremely easy to make it happen because she wants the whole festival experience : drugs, sex & rock'n'roll.
The techno club
Light blue and pink neon lights, 70s vibe, you know those places. Whether with or without tables, everyone here is on drugs or pretty much looks like it. From my experience, this setting is amazing to get intimate quick, fast paced bass music, dim lights, you can go from opening a girl to kissing in a dark booth extremely fast. I have also noticed that the girls who go to those places often have very low barriers towards the hookup culture and fast intimacy.
What else is there to say? People go there to chill and do drugs so don't expect much loud partying. The crowd who goes there is therefore a bit less mainstream, expect more of the goth/RnB/hippie rebellious youth.
The gig/concert bar
I really don't recommend that you go and try to pick up girls there, people who go there usually do so to have a meal and watch the music, so you have both the inconvenient of a restaurant and a concert without the advantages.
Other than that, if you really find yourself there, approach people in a situational and indirect way just like you would in a normal bar.
The loud dancing bar
This kind of venue is one of my favorites : quiet early, messy as soon as the DJ starts to see people dancing. Most of the "Latino-themed" bars follow this pattern.
If you follow my timing of things that happen during a night out you know why those bars are the best : talk and befriend everyone until midnight, DJ rolls in, dancefloor gets packed allowing for quick physicality and quiet places get less spotlight, perfect for isolation.
This place has the best of both a quiet bar and a loud club.
Specificity : IT'S SMALL! As such, those places attract the same crowd over and over every week. You can definitely position yourself and your social circle there, befriend the owner and other patrons. Eventually everyone knows you and gives you social proof (and free drinks! Just kidding, don't drink and Game).
Been there, done that, works like a charm.
The quiet lounge bar
This is the kind of place where you'd imagine James Bond pick up a girl. Dim lights, jazzy music but not too loud, hot world-class single business women drowning their boredom in a glass of strong alcohol.
Provided that you fit in with the venue (aka you don't dress like a farmer to drink cocktails) women will be very open to talk if you approach them there. Might be because the crowd is often older and women over 25 tend to get less mean. It's also implied that if you are in such a place you are somewhat socially calibrated and women won't usually be reluctant to start a conversation with you.
Those places make for the best first date spots (ok, the best one is your place, but still) because of the low amount of distractions, ambient noises and the quite glamour setting. Picking up girls there is a bit harder because generally there is less volume and if you get rejected everyone else will see it. Nothing wrong with that, except that it lowers your perceived value, blow up three sets in a row in such a place and you've given yourself too much of a handicap with the other women in that venue.
The Irish pub
Favorite venue of my student's years (and also of my I-get-drunk-every-night-on-a-budget years), this is basically a quiet lounge bar but for people with less money, rock and roll and a love for craft beer. And I do love rock and roll and craft beer!
Usually those places are not high society so you can get away with way more "social mistakes". Get blown up by 5 girls in a row? There is probably a girl who will be down to fuck.
I don't mean to be condescending in the slightest, I love Irish pubs, my favorite kind of girl goes to those places. But I also met horribly awkward, socially retarded people (men and women) there, people who don't usually go to clubs or other kind of night venues.
I have so many awkward stories of people having mental breakdowns in Irish pubs, not that many about other venues. Good for practice, early night and cheap beer, not good for quality people.
The party street
Yes, there are bars with people sitting at them in this picture. Add the loud music.
For those of you who have been to Khaosan Road, Bangkok, you know what I am talking about. And if you're in Bangkok and you want to meet girls with me click here !
Not necessarily during the night but most of the time will be : any kind of party street. There you will see girls waiting for their friends, waiting to enter a club or just going from point A to point B. And that's the key, they won't stop whatever they are doing to go home with you. Your best bet is to figure what they are doing and then either stick with them, invite them to a better place (bar, club, …) to do what they had planned to do or take their contact for a later meetup.
Unless they are going home, in that case you can invite them to your own home instead ;)
The outside-street-loud bar
Chairs and tables put outside on both sides of the road in front of a booth with extremely loud speakers to try and attract the people walking through the street. Usually found on the party street.
So loud in fact that you can't talk unless you're directly speaking in someone else's ear.
The plus : great to initiate physicality fast, the only way to talk is to basically be on the person, this creates a lot of intimacy and if the girl wants to talk to you too she has to invest way more than she would normally do because of the loud music as well.
The cons : either have to sit at a table or go up and down the street, opening groups and then sitting at their table. It's quite black or white, if you want to talk to a girl you have to fully commit to her whole group.
Okay let's try not to go annoy people in the middle of their meal. I'm talking here about party places that also serve food. Talking to someone over your shoulder if you noticed something to start the conversation works great though.
Also if there is a smoking area or a pool table, those are great to invite people and continue the conversation further.
The games bar
Any kind of bar that also has games, video games, board games, you name it. The cool thing is that you guys can just merge groups. The more, the merrier! Go up to a group if you noticed cute girls there and merge them with your own group.
Sometimes girls get tired of playing and just start watching other people play, great time to go up to them and strike a conversation.
The street during the day
Welcome to the land of Day Game my friend. Most girls you will meet there will be busy, going somewhere and tired of being catcalled/harassed by people trying to sell them stuff.
That being said, if she has the time to talk with you, it's DEFINITELY possible to meet women there without being creepy. In fact, I made a YouTube video series on that where you can watch me do it as I teach you how to do it yourself.
This is such a popular kind of venue to meet women because it transcends social hierarchy. You can literally meet anyone on the streets. The other day, one of my friend approached an Instagram influencer. And I approached her again the same week in another place (what a small world). Good luck reaching such a girl's circle in any other way. The street is also nice because it has volume, aim for malls and subway/tramway exits.
The mall/any public store
Not much harder than any other venue during the day. The easiest way to open a girl there is by commenting on something that she is doing.
- Looking at books ? "He dies at the end. Just kidding. What are you looking at?"
- Looking at a dress? "I think that one fits your style better."
- Trying to buy salmon ? "I think the other one tastes better. Can you even cook it though?"
Though direct openers work very well and are easier to use for beginners. Malls are also nice because they gather a lot of women, especially on the weekend. Saturday is Day Game day!
The park/the café
Girls having free time deciding to go out to work, read and chill. Best setting to meet relaxed girls who have nothing better to do than to have a nice chat with a cool guy. And it's also way more romantic than to tell her friends she met you on Tinder.
Regular day game applies. Whether you choose to approach with a compliment or something more indirect, it's a great place to meet women and to practice social dynamics.
The place of interest
I'm talking here about any tourist spot, art exhibition, etc. People are there to watch a specific public thing. Great to meet women as well because there is something that's relevant to both of you, especially if you both came to see it.
I swear you can't go see the Eiffel Tower without seeing hot girls trying to pose.
There you have it! You're not allowed to say "I can't meet girls, I don't know where to" anymore. I'd say there are some pre-requisite to learning success with women, living in a populated enough area being one of those.
Yes, some places do not have any of those venues listed above (my home town city for example, even the parks and streets are empty). If that is your case, you need to figure out why you're still stuck living in such a place, and quickly move out.
But if you live in any place that has over 150 000 souls, that is big enough and you know now which places to go! No more excuses, time to bring out your inner love gangster!
If you'd like to have me guide you personally to learn meeting women in every one of those places, book your first coaching session for FREE here.