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They are prettier than average.
You know them, those girls who write on their Tinder bio that
"They are not often on the app"
And that it's better to add them on Instagram if you want to talk with them.
Well, I added 100 of them, and here's what I found.
(Spoiler alert: we never talked)
Why do girls put their Instagram in their bio on dating apps?
At the end of this article, you will finally have an answer.
In this article you will learn:
Let's see the kind of results I've got with my experiment.
Read on, I go into details below.
She Puts her IG Handles in Her Bio - Context
To really understand why do girls put their Instagram in their bio on dating apps, I tried to be very scientific.
Here's the scope of what we're looking at today:
100 women, aged 18-25
They all had their bio giving out their Instagram
Girls who were not at least "cute" were ignored
They were all living in my city, or reasonably close
Some had a regular profile that also included their IG handles.
Some had a profile that mentioned they would only reply on Instagram.
Some only had their IG handles written within their bio, and nothing else.
Point is: if she mentions her Instagram in her bio, she's a potential candidate.
I used a mix of Bumble and Tinder for this study.
I don't think it matters since both dating apps are extremely similar.
She Said to Add her on Instagram in Her Bio
So why do girls put their Instagram in their bio on dating apps?
Here's the method I used to find that out:
First I had to make sure to use an Instagram account that doesn't look too bad.
To find out why do girls put their Instagram in their bio on dating apps I had to use a profile that was already proven to get results.
So I used my personal Instagram account, you can check it out here.
(And follow. Please?)
I would follow them and like 10 of their most recent posts in a row.
So that when she opens her notifications feed it would look something like this:
My goal was to make sure they would notice me.
So that if they ignore my texts, it's not because they didn't see me, but because they willingly chose not to talk to me.
I then used a texting sequence very similar to a sales script.
Because 100 women is a lot.
And there was no way I was going to personalize absolutely every text for every conversation.
My Instagram Text-To-Date Sequence
To find out why do girls put their Instagram in their Tinder bio I tried out 3 different messaging scripts.
And you might think this would screw up the experiment.
But you will see it in the results: not that much.
The goal of this texting script was as follows:
Build enough comfort so that women don't think I'm looking for low-hanging fruits.
Be coy enough to keep some mystery and attraction
And most importantly: to take as little time on my end as possible.
So I downloaded an app called Microsoft SfitwKey.
This app lets me save messages I'd copy for later.
So that I'd only have to come up with the texting system and type it once.
All the rest would be copied and pasted.
(Mostly, since I still needed to address women's individual reactions, but more on that later.)
She Puts Her Instagram Handles in her Bio - RESULTS
I won't make you wait any more to get an answer to why do girls put their Instagram in their bio on dating apps.
Here's a rundown of the numbers I've got:
Out of 100
75 didn't even see my message (the message was left on "sent", not even "seen")
9 were responsive but blatantly not interested
6 ghosted right when I asked them out
3 ghosted mid-conversation
3 were tourists and had left the city already
3 came out on a date
Within those 100 women, I also noticed other interesting things:
9 were promoting their OnlyFans
12 followed me back (very kind)
So it seems that all those who actually saw my message replied.
But the overwhelming majority didn't even bother to check it out.
She Puts Her Instagram Handles in her Bio - WHY?
In simple terms, here's what the results above mean.
Because (Most) Women Want Attention
I bet you didn't see that one coming.
Just kidding.
Turns out that most women who put their Instagram handles on dating apps only want more followers.
Here's how I came to this conclusion:
Considering that the overwhelming majority of women I've added on Instagram simply never even saw my text, it's safe to assume a few things.
1 - They Didn't Actually Care
They didn't care whether or not guys would text them.
Since they didn't even bother checking out who was texting them and what that message was.
If they did check me out, they would at least have opened the conversation, and the message would show as "seen".
And so, I could have been the most gigachad guy in the entire universe, with billions of money and a 12-pack of shiny abs, it wouldn't have made a difference.
Because they didn't even go and look who was adding them from the dating apps.
Why do girls put their Instagram in their Tinder bio then?
My immediate, science-based answer would be that they just like the validation and ego boost.
2 - They Lied to Get More Followers
They didn't "want to talk on IG because they are more active there" since I saw numerous of them marked as "active" without even checking out my text.
Some went as far as to follow me back but never checked out my message.
And I'm not even telling you about those who redirected me toward their OnlyFans, or who ghosted me as soon as I said I wouldn't take them out to an expensive restaurant.
Turns out it was mostly a business move for some women.
I am trying really hard to give an unbiased answer here, but those are cold hard facts, and they don't look very glamorous.
3 - They Thought They Wanted It (But Actually No)
And finally my favorite speculation:
She thought it was a good idea to put her Instagram handles in her Tinder bio at first.
But thought again and changed her mind when she saw the dozens of men who suddenly appeared in her DMs.
And I don't know if you've ever seen what the Instagram inbox of a pretty girl looks like.
Here's an example with one of my ex's, it's a real mess.
So I wouldn't be surprised that a lot of those women just entirely gave up on the whole thing.
But didn't change their online dating profile because it's always nice to get more followers.
(Even if that means misleading a lot of men.)
They Make a Living Out of It
As a fellow entrepreneur, I respect the hustle.
Some women use social media and dating apps to pay their bills.
One of my friends just started last Winter, props to her 🎉
Be it through
Paid partnerships with brands
Explicit content
To push their followers to their YouTube, podcast, etc
Women understand that if they are beautiful, there is a ton of money to be made out of it online.
So hopefully this gives us an answer to why do girls put their Instagram in their bio on dating apps.
But what about the women who did reply positively to my flirty attempts?
Getting Dates on Instagram With Copy & Paste Texts
So for this experiment, I had 3 iterations of the texting system I was following.
The first iteration, I will call "chode game", because it's basically what every other guy with no game does.
Showing interest
Asking basic "get to know you" questions
Throwing in 1 or 2 jokes for good measure
Asking her out
Keep in mind that it's important to address every single thing that she says.
Even if you just reply "lol", you must both react to her reply and move on with the next text in the script.
With the second iteration, I was getting annoyed with women talking with me but dropping out of the conversation once they figured I wouldn't buy them meals or shower them with attention for days.
Key Takeaway: This is another interesting way to prove that women do not allow men with unattractive behavior to stand out. If you start texting like a chode but suddenly try to get out of this "beta provider box" she put you in, she will ghost. |
So I made sure to incorporate a "screening" text message early in the interaction.
I would ask her to do something for me.
I would make a boring statement and see if she'd keep the conversation alive
I would break rapport and see if she'd still try and talk to me.
I wanted to show that I'm not a loser who will entertain her if she doesn't throw me a bone.
All in all, this iteration is still me being a nice guy, but one with a strong backbone.
This is probably what has the best chance to work with the least amount of effort.
For the third iteration, I went full-on funny, cocky and I would call them out anytime they wouldn't comply with me leading closer to a date.
For all 3 iterations, I also made sure to make the first message super cocky.
Because she's likely receiving dozens and dozens of "hi beautiful" and I needed to at least stand out from that.
My Best First Message to Slide into a Girl's DMs
Here's the message I rolled with.
I believe it's a good first text, a bit on the jerk side of things.
But again, that's necessary to stand out from all the "hey beautiful" she receives 20 times a day.
She might hate me for this cocky first text, but it's still better than being ignored.
But Did It Really Make a Difference?
In terms of "generating attraction" and "getting women to chase me", I didn't see much difference.
The main difference I saw by improving my text sequence over those 3 iterations was that I would get a yes or a no way faster.
Which I consider a win, time is money.
But when sliding into a girl's DMs it seems that there's not much difference in terms of results between good text game and great text game.
Here's what I believe matters most:
Whether or not she's looking for a date from IG
How high-value she considers you are based on your profile
You can't do much if she's not in the mood to meet a guy from the 'gram.
But you can make sure that your profile makes you look super attractive.
Make Sure Your Instagram Profile Isn't Poop
I understand you came to this article and hope to learn new tricks.
But if you only copy and paste my text sequence, you're likely not going to get results.
Because if your profile isn't good enough to reach the "attraction threshold", you're done.
It doesn't matter how good your texts are if your profile looks creepy and low-value.
Sorry, that was the tough love part.
Now let's talk a little bit about what makes an attractive Instagram profile.
Show Access To Scare Resources
You can probably see a bit of that in the IG account I used for this experiment.
I try to take photos that show myself in nice places, enjoying interesting activities, hanging out with beautiful people.
And that's really what taking attractive Instagram photos is about.
You plus some interesting thing, together on the same photo.
For women, creating an attractive Instagram profile means putting out cute and sexy photos.
For men, it's about showing that you've got access to scarce resources and an interesting lifestyle.
Get Some Followers
I know this part seems scary, but it's really not that hard to reach even 1k followers.
Although, with 500+ you should be good enough.
But anything less than that, and you will have a hard time standing out from all the other guys.
And on the other hand, if you have some following to your name, even a small one, it speaks volumes.
It shows you're not a lonely creep that might murder her.
(Since other people like and look up to you.)
Here's the thing: Instagram is just a tool.
It's not your life.
And it really asks no further work from you to give great results.
All you have to do is to go out and meet people (as you should already be doing).
And at the end of the event, instead of leaving with their phone number or without saying goodbye...
You ask for their Instagram.
Be consistent for 3 months every time you go to meet people and you will easily acquire over 500 followers.
Should You Buy Followers to Impress Women on Instagram?
I've actually met some guys who did that.
And they told me that women are easily impressed if you have 20k, 50k followers on Instagram.
Yes, women like that, and most of them won't care to figure out whether you bought those followers or not.
Just like driving a Lambo, you will impress some women.
But if you don't have what it takes to back it up, you will only attract low-value women.
Superficial women who want flashy things.
High-value women will see through the façade and move on.
That 6/10 will be head over heels if you have 10k followers, bought or not.
The 8/10 will test you, quickly see you're faking it, and ghost you.
Actual high-value women don't care about your follow count for the most part.
Again, 500 followers is enough to show that you go out sometimes and that you're likely a cool guy.
So, Should You Try to Slide into a Girl's DMs?
After watching the result of my experiment above, you might think sliding into a girl's DMs is a huge waste of time.
And it is.
Unless...
You do it properly.
Sell Water to the Thirsty
See, it's just like trying to sell something.
If I try to sell you water while you're already in the supermarket, you will probably say no.
But if I try to sell you water when you're thirsty, walking through the desert, you might say yes.
And that's the same with sliding into a girl's DMs.
Provided your Instagram profile is good
Provided your text game is good
If you give her what she wants when she wants it, you have a higher chance to get a date.
The difficulty is in figuring out women who want it from those who don't.
Screen Women Better
It all comes down to how good you are at screening women.
While I don't recommend you add women on IG randomly, you still can slide into a girl's DMs.
In fact, a 1 to 3% success rate is not that bad if you start 300 conversations.
But it still takes a lot of time.
Here are 2 ways to really increase your odds:
Add women on IG after talking with them a bit on the dating app
Add women on IG and get them to qualify to you very early
Two ways to go about it, but really one same principle here:
You're looking for compliance from those women early in the conversation.
From years of experience, I can tell you that if she's cold or even does not reply to your first 3 texts with enthusiasm, 9.9 times out of 10 she isn't interested.
If you have the time or if you really believe she's worth it, go for it and try.
But know that you'd likely make better use of your time talking to other women who would be more open.
To Summarize
I just showed you why do girls put their Instagram in their bio on dating apps.
They want followers
They want an ego boost
They use it for work
And very, very, very rarely, they actually want a date.
If you want to slide into a girl's DMs on Instagram you must make sure your profile is good.
And the best way to not lose your time and sanity is to follow a texting system.
To figure out women who are interested from women who are not interested as fast as possible.
And One More Thing!
Following a texting system is key on Instagram.
But it works even better if you use it directly on dating apps.
I've prepared a free training in which I show you my best first message on dating apps.
This message gets me replies 8 times out of 10!
