Why the mainstream doesn't want you to become good with women
Updated: Nov 24, 2020
Tired of having to be politically correct under all circumstances? Tired of having to chose between an ever-growing feminist agenda or becoming a bitter toxic male?
Concerned by how gen X, Y, Z have no idea on how to go up to a girl and strike a conversation while our grand parents met in front of the military hospital during the war?
Here's my piece on how listening to public opinion is the worst thing you could do if you want to get better at meeting girls.
People who go their own way rise above
Didn’t like to get randomly chosen by your teacher to go talk in front of the class when you were younger? Well I didn't. It doesn’t feel comfortable at all to be under the spotlight and have everyone watch you from inside the safety of the group.
So I stayed in the back of the class. Somehow I thought being left alone and having not to interact with others would mean a more peaceful, happier and better life.
Stay in the middle of the circle. If I stand out, I put myself in danger, you might think.
You’re safe in the middle of the herd. The sheep who will get eaten by the wolves are those who err on the sides, or worse, go away from the herd.
Or will they?
It is my firm opinion that part of being successful means putting yourself under the spotlight so much that you start thriving there. And that won’t happen in the middle of the herd. How can you hope to stand out if you hide yourself among others like you?
Is it scary to put yourself out there, to put your whole person on the metaphorical chopping block, to face danger alone, having to fully take on all of the responsibilities of life and whatever happens to you, be it your fault or not?
Yes. It’s extremely hard. And you could easily make an argument of how it’s better to just stay home all day on unemployment money, play video games and smoke weed.
I’ve been on both ends of this spectrum so I guess I can share a fair opinion on the matter.
I recently watched this video in which Jordan Peterson talks about people going flat out 100% on their work or passion and how they don’t have free time, hobbies, outside activities, etc.
Maybe this is the price to pay to be exceptional at one thing. Maybe that’s what it costs to rise out of the average mediocrity that qualifies the masses.
If you want to become fantastically successful in whatever way, be it money, career, science, success with women, you need to step out of the sheep mentality because if you keep conforming to what you have to do and say to please, you will never achieve exceptional results.
Just go and look at the life story of any person that you think is exceptional. Movie stars, businessmen and athletes are a great example of that. The most exceptional people are in my opinion borderline sociopaths. Just to name a few, look at Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Keanu Reeves, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Steve Jobs and so on. Do you think they tried to please people?
This isn't just inspirational quote BS. This is a lifestyle.
Funny thing is that the mainstream tries to suppress those wandering far from the herd, but praises those who do and then become successful. Someone please explain that nonsense to me.
I’ve crushed (and crashed) through social norms, political correctness and “expected behavior” so many times in my life I barely have friends, most people think I am an asshole and I have no idea where I will be in 10 years.
On the flipside, I became exceptionally good in creating relationships, meeting new women and having sex fast with beautiful women who were previously total strangers. I also do not waste time on things that I do not like or things that others would coerce me into liking. The very few people I hang out with regularly love me with no bounds and are the most interesting and loyal people I’ve ever met. I also get to do a job I love without the pain of reporting to some annoying egocentric boss (I’m my own annoying egocentric boss now, joy!).
I also think it’s worth noting that I’ve never ever been in a fight because of that, or worried about any legal charge ;)
To me, this is the real meaning of going your own way.
Why others do not want you to succeed
How does that relate to the mainstream? Well if you're “out of the norm”, you’re not like everyone else. And people hate what’s different. You need to start using your brain to understand and eventually accept what is different.
It’s just way more comfortable to just do as everyone else does (at the price of getting the same life as everyone else).
People hate what is different because when you do something that might land you further away than the average Joe, your average Joe who is enjoying a comfortable lazy normal life doesn’t want to have to face a reality in which he could have done differently to get a better life.
When people see your own success, it reflects their own lack of success, and their ego doesn't like it. If you did it, why can't they?
You know it. Everyone wants to be the boss, but no one wants to do what it takes to be the boss. And when you remind people of that, they don’t like it.
Maybe you’ve heard of the crabs mentality. If you put one crab in a bucket, it will try to escape. If you put two crabs in a bucket, the crab below will grab onto anything above him and pull the crab trying to escape down.
That’s a real thing for people too. The impact of crab mentality on performance was quantified by a New Zealand study in 2015 which demonstrated up to an 18% average exam result improvement for students when their grades were reported in a way that prevented others from knowing their position in published rankings.
Point and case, people like to look up to winners, but no one likes to stay average while watching his friends become successful.
How to know if this is happening to you? Well look around.
Look at your family and close friends first. Are they supportive or hostile to you trying new things?
The mainstream doesn’t like nuances
When you think of a politician being interviewed, aren’t you annoyed at how “wishy washy” their answers are? I used to be extremely annoyed by this too. Until I put myself in their shoes.
What’s the job of a politician? Take the corrupted ones away, a good willing politician’s job is to make sure people in his country don’t start killing each other. A politician’s job is to unite people together so there can be social cohesion.
To do so they have to reach to and unite as many people as possible. And people are different, they have different sensibilities. A consensus has to be found to unite those people.
What is said has to be easy to understand, obvious and as non-polarizing as possible.
Why so? It’s very hard to explain nuanced concepts to a lot of people at the same time without starting an argument.
In a situation where you’re talking to a lot of people at the same time there are a million ways they could get you wrong :
They hear something else than your point
They hear what they wanted to hear
They hear what they didn’t want to hear
They hear your point, but they interpret it wrongly
In other words, being mainstream means walking on eggshells whenever you push an idea that’s slightly opinionated.
Nothing is really either black or white, but everything is a certain shade of grey. You can explain black easily, you can explain white easily. How do you explain this color?
It's not easy to explain. You'd probably have to give examples of things of the same color and spend some time on making sure the person in front of you really understands your point and not something else.
Now take a concept that’s unanimously recognized as true by men who are successful with women.
An attractive man is a man who leads women assertively.
It's not easy to explain. I'd probably have to give examples and spend some time on making sure the person in front of me really understands my point and not something else.
There is no way you’ll read this in any mainstream magazine though. Too many feminist sensibilities to offend and audience to lose. Because yes, it comes down to this. Does the truth sell to the average audience? No it doesn’t.
Does the truth sell to my audience? Yes. That’s why I’m writing this blog article. If you’re reading this it’s probably because you’re looking for some real talk, for some actual life-changing results and not some mainstream “work on yourself, feel good and be nice” bullshit.
But was my content easy to find? Probably not. I don't have a large audience and the large audience doesn't want to put in the necessary effort to understand the nuances that get you results with women.
Most people are unengaged in what’s presented to them. Most people want the quick feelgood boost of having the impression they are learning something, not life-changing material that implies to invest time, money and effort. That might be laziness, that might be lack of time, fact of the matter is that mainstream is quite flavorless for a reason, it pleases everyone and therefore doesn't stand out.
And what doesn't stand out stays mediocre.
I understand it's hard to stay on top of your game in every area of your life though. I do certainly know more about meeting women than I know about video games, even if both are dear interests to me. And I plead guilty, I might from time to time read mainstream articles about video games.
Though I hope this article gave you a bit of food for thought as to where you get your information from.