Nurture a nice Vibe on your Dates
or THE IMPORTANCE OF THE VIBE
The vibe of the date is going to be the determining factor of how she will take decisions during that date, how she will feel about you and how she will remember you after that date.
I’m not kidding. If your dates suck and never lead anywhere, it’s mostly because of this. Girls will forgive you for not leading, girls will forgive you for being a bit needy, girls will forgive you for being a bit shy, but if you’re a pain to be around, it’s a deal breaker. So let’s put this part here, first and foremost.
You want the vibe to be carefree, non-judgmental, fun, light-hearted and flowing smoothly. The more her emotions are spiked during the date while having her feel comfortable with you, the more she will remember you and get attached to you.
(And the higher your chances to have sex on that date.)
While that might sound like a lot, in reality it’s just about not trying to get her to validate you and not talking about boring stuff.
It’s not always something that you control or notice at first and I feel it’s important to point it out, I’ve been working with guys who thought they were amazing to be around and were doing their best, while all they were doing was talking about themselves too much and it was a pain for the girl to try to have a good time on the date. Take this as a disclaimer to have a quick self-awareness check. Are we good? Good :)
You see this sentence everywhere? That's for a reason.
There are a few topics that you really really want to avoid:
Religious beliefs, politics and anything that touches topics that drive people lives and that are often confrontational.
Your life, unless she wants to know more. While you may think that telling her about your life is the best way for her to know you, girls don’t care that much about what is said and instead focus on what they feel. That’s how they get to know people, based on how they make them feel. Some girls are highly logical and get turned by listening to a smart guy, but that’s not the majority.
Any topic that in this specific situation with that specific girl kills the conversation (be flexible). If she is a hardcore vegan, you do not want to insist on why chicken is the best fit for a muscle building diet.
Instead, you want to be giving value most of the time. I’m pretty sure you’ve heard it before. But what does giving value actually mean?
From my internet searches here is a definition that I found quite amazing, let me share it with you :
Value is affordability. And it’s making people’s lives easier. Value is helping people do things better and faster. Value is educating people. Value is making people feel good about themselves and their interactions with you. Value is empowering people to make good decisions and take the right action. Value is improving lives and solving problems. Value is creating a great experience. Value is anything that the person in front of you finds interesting. Value entirely depends on who you’re talking to.
Let’s see a few examples of what you can do to give value :
Fun. First and foremost, I don’t know which country you’re from and which language is your native language but I’m sure there is a saying in your mother tongue that says “when a woman laughs she’s getting ready for sex”.
Teaching her things. If she wants to learn Spanish and you can speak a few words of Spanish, teach her.
Sharing interesting stories. If she loves travel and you have stories about travel, tell your stories and see how well she reacts to it.
Notice the common pattern though : it’s something that SHE finds value in.
If you’re able to do that during your conversation I can guarantee that your conversations will never end and girls will be dying to talk with you.
The easiest way to do this on a date is by making her talk about herself. Women love to talk, and especially about themselves. If you are having trouble getting your dates to flow smoothly, ask her more questions about herself and double down on the personal details she gives you.
Then associate that with whatever value you can add to the situation.
I’ll leave you today with an example of one of my previous dates.
I got invited to this girl’s house and she was a highly logical person, she liked to say she was very intelligent. I explained to her what my job was about once she asked. I took time to put big words (especially considering the late night timing of the date) such as reticular activating system in my speech and she loved how smart our conversation ended up being.
She learnt a bunch of things and got so much more excited about me. Not because I was particularly interesting, but because the vibe became extremely interesting.
Funny story, considering I met her on Tinder and she invited me over to her house at 11pm to drink wine. You can meet smart and beautiful people off dating apps, lead to a date and lead to sex on that first date, because you nurtured a nice, exciting and carefree vibe.
If you’d like to be able to do the same and learn how to get girls out from dating apps, I’ve written a guide called The OnlineSuccessPDF that you can download for free by clicking here.