Never Run Out of Things to Say Ever Again!
A while ago I made a video explaining how to never run out of things to say.
Today, I want to go in-depth and share with you ways to drill being able to speak forever. Let’s get into it.
Understand that always talking is bad but you have to be able to lead the conversation. Most likely you’re the one going out of your way to talk to that attractive woman and you can’t just expect her to start doing all the talking right off the bat.
Being able to talk on cue and for as long as needed is an amazing skill. There are times when you have to break the ice and start a conversation, because without conversation there can’t be seduction.
It’s important to understand that a conversation is the baseline of your interaction with a woman.
Yes, you can use “PUA techniques”, yes, you can tease her, touch her and make sexual jokes but that should be only 10 to 20% of your interaction. The rest will be a normal conversation, the kind that you could have with your male best friend.
It’s this 10 to 20% of seduction, flirty vibe, whatever you call it, that will let her know that you are not here to make friends but to indeed figure out whether she’s a good romantic/sexual fit for you.
Being able to make, improvise and hold conversation will also allow you to lead the interaction to the outcome that you want. I will never say that enough, most women are extremely passive and won’t do the first move nor lead the interaction.
It is your burden to do so, good thing, by the end of this article you’ll be a million-dollar-mouthpiece talking-machine.
Today I’d like to focus not on the mindsets (watch the video I made on the topic for that!) but on the exercises that you can start doing right now to develop your “conversation muscle”. Before doing that I’ll recap quickly the different ways that you have to keep a conversation going.
The conversation techniques I’m going to talk about right now need to be practiced and I can’t stress this enough. Reading this article and keeping those ideas in the back of your mind won’t be enough.
Outside of the exercises I will give you later, pick the ideas I’ll explain below and every time you go out, make a point to try and practice one of those to exhaustion. Practice means drilling again and again.
That being said, let’s see the 3 ways you have to make sure a conversation never dies :
The idea there is that you will bounce off something that was just said in the conversation before, and associate it to the first thing that comes to your mind.
The idea is that you will have this “oh that makes me think of ...” every time you hear or see something that’s related to those involved in the interaction.
“Oh you said you like apples, that makes me think of that apple pie I baked the other day, it was amazing because …”
“Oh now that you’re talking about travel that makes me think of that time I went to …”
“Oh you have a big bag, is there a bomb inside?”
“Oh have you seen those Jehovah’s witnesses there? They are so weird, last time they …”
Makes sense? It’s not too hard, most of the time we prevent ourselves from saying what we really think because we judge how good it has to be. Get rid of those limiting beliefs and speak with no filter.
This alone is the biggest one, if you’re able to free associate you will never run out of things to say, ever. But it’s not always easy, sometimes we’re anxious, sometimes we’re tired or in a bad mood, there are other ways to keep a conversation alive.
Bouncing off of what she said
This one is particularly useful if you want to get to know a girl and have her be a bit more comfortable around (aka trust you). Whenever she’s talking with you, you will pick up on one of the main things she said and bounce off of it.
“I usually go to the beach every summer but this year I stayed home because of covid”
Such a good lad, I’ve underlined for you the main things that she said you can bounce off.
Here’s what you could say :
“Yeah going to the beach is amazing, where do you go?”
“Summer is really nice to relax, I bet you’re the kind of person who stays all day under the sun.”
“Staying home is not that bad! I bet you watched netflix all the time.”
“That’s true it sucked, I think that was a great occasion to find new ways to live though. Gotta stay positive, have you started working remotely?”
There are one million directions you could go if you mix what she just said and your personality, and women want to experience it. With practice you will unlock all those things you could be talking about.
Repeating what she just said with a question tone
I kept the easy one for the end. Extra convenient way to have a girl invest and do the talking for you, if you want her to talk more about something (or really if you’re just lazy) you just repeat the last thing she said with a question tone.
“I really like cupcakes I think they are cute”
“You think they are cute?”
“Yeah, last time I ate one with pink sprinkles when I went with my sister”
“You went with your sister?”
“Yeah she was in town, she usually lives abroad”
Don’t parrot her too much or she will pick up on it, but every once in a while that’s indeed very convenient. Most girls are very talkative if you give them the chance to, especially if you lead the conversation in a direction that will have them talk about themselves.
You might have heard this one before but the best way to be a great conversationalist is to be an active listener, someone who will not only hear but keep adding on the conversation based on what the other person just said. To this I want to add that you also want to be engaging the girl you’re talking to.
You will notice that in most cases, the best way to have a girl invest in the conversation is to make her talk about herself. There are a few topics that are very useful there and you want to always be directing the conversation to one of those topics if you want to maximize your chances of it never ending.
Those topics are dreams, travels, jobs, hobbies, relationships, anything that she invests time and/or effort in. The idea behind is that you’ll be giving value by giving people the opportunity to talk about themselves and have their ego feel good.
Now, how do we practice that?
As I said before, the best way is to take one of those techniques and drill it as much as possible whenever you’re in a conversation, until you get a good feel for it.
Here is another very good way that landed me amazing results and that I advise very often to my clients. Every morning for at least one week you want to wake up 10 minutes earlier and spend 10 minutes talking in front of a mirror or a camera. You’re not allowed to stop talking for more than 3 seconds.
Talk about whatever comes to your mind, bounce back on.
On top of allowing you to see if you’ve got any weird nervous tic when talking, this will develop your ability to talk forever and put you in a social mood for the whole day.
That’s it for today! If you’d like to learn more about ways to internalize becoming a fiery conversationalist you can consider 1on1 coaching with me. Cheers!