How to build sexual tension
Updated: Aug 16
Aw man I wish this girl could see me as more than a friend. Aw man, why does she always goes for Chad, he's not even nice to her. Aw man, this girl always laugh at my jokes and is nice with me but she goes away when I try to get close. Ever felt that way? Ever felt you interactions were missing something SEXUAL? That used to be my case. I was what you can call a dancing monkey, trying to get girls by being loud and entertaining. But sex wasn't happening and I felt like there was a window of opportunity with girls I would talk to, except that I couldn't seem to get through that window and I had no idea why. In my opinion it all comes to one thing, broken down into two parts. Sexual. Tension. Let's talk about tension first. It's this invisible feeling that people have towards other people when they don't now what they feel or think. Maybe they think you're stupid? Maybe they like you? When a girl tells you she can't figure you out, there is tension. You don't put all your cards on the table and rightly so, why would you show your vulnerable self to someone you just met? The result is that you're unpredictable, as opposed to the needy always-nice guy. And girls dig it. Not consciously, but it makes them feel drawn to you simply because they'd like to figure you out. No one likes to be left without closure, and when you're put face to face with a guy who tells you that "you seem like you come from the countryside" as his standard opener, if you're a girl you want to know what he means by that. There is tension, because maybe you say it because you like her and she looks cute, maybe you say it because she looks like a pile of horse poop. It's the MAYBE that's important. That being said, you don't have to do that much to create the tension, most of the time it happens naturally when you talk. The other big important thing about tension is holding the eye contact. Because you might say random intriguing blab but if you don't hold eye contact, it means that you don't care and what you said isn't that important to you (so why should she care?). There is no tension. If you hold an honest eye contact now suddenly you said something that's intriguing and you went all in with it, gazing through her and expecting her to answer something. There is tension. But then how do we make it sexxxxual? Again, you don't have to do much. This is a passive skill. The key here is to be okay with sexuality, your sexuality, her sexuality. Don't shy away from sexual topics and jokes. Become the guy that's open with his sexuality, make it part of your public persona. You dropped a big pack of magnum XXL condoms out of your pocket in front of her and her friends? Who cares! Own it. If you find yourself alone with a girl at a time where sex could happen, she has to expect you to try a move.
If you become that kind of sexual guy, every time a girl will feel tension with you, she will wonder "what's up with this tension? Is he thinking about sex right now? Is he thinking about sex with me right now?" Ok that's pretty much it for now, here is a link to a video below that recaps this and goes deeper, in that video I talk about my special easy peasy technique to build tension in any conversation so check it out if you're interested in that topic, peace. To recap this:
You don't have to do anything for tension to be there (it's more about what you don't do), hold eye contact like a psycho (just kidding) and become a sexual guy.
To go deeper: