How to build (more) meaningful connections
Updated: Aug 5, 2020
Ever felt that you can get laid but girls don't call you back after?
Or in general, ever felt that your interactions were too superficial and it's hard to get emotionally close to those girls you date?
Ever wondered if there is a "technique" to making people want to see you again? YES. There is. Read more if you want to know about the magic pill that will make people like you. Now, this is interesting because if you understand this it means you know that being needy and people-pleaser in the traditional way is not what makes people like you.
If you understand this shhtuff I'm about to tell you, you will truly understand what makes people like you and you won't ever again have to resort to the classic "nice guy ways".
Because being a nice guy doesn't work. Now I'm sure you know that. But what works then? What makes people enjoy your presence and feel good about being around you? Read further.
Also, while there are a lot of specifics at play there, this is ONE big thing that you can start doing right now to solve A LOT of issues if you can't get girls to emotionally invest in you. So I was reading this article on girlschase the other day about deep diving (check it out, girlschase has amazing blog posts) and I believe many men could use more of that when meeting women: diving deep.
When you think about it, what makes women call you back? A woman calling you back is often tied to how much she invested in you. There are many ways for a woman to invest in you, maybe she paid for your drinks on an earlier date, maybe she travelled through the whole city to come to you, maybe she dropped her friends to spend a bit more time with you.
In all those cases she had to invest some sort of currency on you, and if she is a regular human being it's most likely that she doesn't like to see any returns on her investments. What's another big big currency that people do not like to waste?
If you get her to invest time in you she will want to spend more time with you.
What's another thing that people do not spend on everyone? Their emotional energy. It's very rare to find someone who will care to listen to however we feel, people are selfish and good listeners are always greatly appreciated. And you know how much girls like to talk about their feelings. Now, what happens if we mix those together? What happens if you get girls to invest time and emotion in you while they were already attracted to you? They get HOOKED HARD. There are a few things you want to do and I go into more details in the video linked at the end of the post but for the record:
- Be non-judgemental. People won't talk to you if they feel you're gonna make fun of them or shame them for opening up.
- Do not cut them off. EVER. Whatever you have to say is less important than what she has to say. This is the numero uno mistake in stopping girls from investing in you. Shoutout to the old me who couldn't let girls invest in the conversation because I was talking and cutting them off all the fucking time out of nervousness. It really gives off a "I don't care what you have to say" vibe that's extra repulsive.
- Get her to talk about her emotions. Talking about feelings feels GOOD provided that there is an ear to listen. If women feel good around you, they will want to see you again (duh).
- In the same vein, be positive and lead the conversation away from negative topics, you don't want her to feel BAD around you.
- All in all, be an active listener. When you listen, you bond. Focus on what they want to talk about and dig deeper. Don't stay superficial, really proactively dig deep on whatever personal info they give you as in "I'd like to understand your worldview". Don't go in police interrogation style though (hope I don't actually have to say that). Okay, that's all for now, keep building meaningful connections with dem hoes and live a happy life. TL;DR Be a good listener, have women talk about their feelings and actively dig deeper to get them to invest and anchor in their mind that they feel good around you.
Check out the video link below if you want to learn more about it, in it, I share a specific conversation pattern that you can start using right now if you're having trouble to get girls to open up and invest. Peace.